Are you struggling to keep a long distance relationship alive? You are not alone! Many couples are in long distance relationships all over the world and they are working hard to maintain it.
I used to be in a long distance relationship with my ex-boyfriend and it led to our disastrous break up. You can read all about him in one of my posts titled “My First Love“, where I wrote about my bitter-sweet experience with my first boyfriend ever.
While we were still together in school, our love was great and we seemed inseparable but the moment my boyfriend graduated, things turned sour and we had to go our separate ways.
Back then, I didn’t think of any reason or cause for our break up; I just concluded that maybe we just drifted apart but now that I think of it, I blame our break up on long distance.
Why? After my boyfriend graduated, our communication level decreased drastically and gradually we stopped keeping in touch with each other. Of course, the relationship would have been easier to maintain if we were in the same place at the same time but the distance just drove us apart.
It was like a wall between us and we couldn’t see each other as frequent as we wanted to. It became frustrating and challenging just to remain in touch.
Are you married to an expat who travels regularly?
Are you currently dating someone who lives or works in another city?
Are you battling with communication issues?
Are you tired of the relationship and want to call it quits?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, then this post is for you.
WHAT DOES LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP MEAN?
For those of you who may not know what it means, a long distance relationship is a romantic relationship between two people who live far apart and so are unable to meet on a frequent basis. Partners in this type of relationship face geographic separation and lack of face-to-face contact. They seem isolated from each other.
Being in a long distance relationship leaves you cranky, lonely and miserable. But, because of your attachment to your love, it won’t be reasonable to go around sleeping with other people.
Long distance doesn’t give you an excuse to cheat on your partner; instead it teaches you patience, trust, discipline and self-control. Now, that you’ve started the long distance journey, it may seem endless and stressful.
HOW DO YOU SURVIVE IN A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP?
I used to be in a long distance relationship myself and it wasn’t all fun. There were days when I felt like calling it quits and finding someone closer. But then I realized, it’s not just about someone closer but someone you have good history with. It has to be someone who knows how to make you smile after a stressful day right? It should be someone who understands you a lot.
Yes! True love has become difficult to find these days; almost all the guys who chase after you have only sex in their minds. They don’t care about who you are or what makes you happy. All they care about is what they can get from you and move on to another hitch. They are just plain selfish in their approach.
You can also try out new hobbies in order to keep out the loneliness and boredom when you’re not around your love. Getting busy with other activities helps you to be independent instead of being emotionally clingy on another person.
HOW DO YOU KEEP A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP ALIVE?
How can you a keep a long distance relationship alive when there are so many distractions lining up to kill it? You could spend some days being so busy that you forget to keep in touch with your partner and gradually the love fades and you drift apart.
But, if you’ve decided to make it work with your sweetie; a lot of hard work, communication, patience, trust and self-control are needed from both of you. Since we don’t know what our partners are up to most of the time, we need to just to let them go and trust them completely at the same time.
It’s quite tricky at first but when you learn to treat your partner with absolute trust, it pays in the long run. What do you do if you notice you and your partner are drifting apart?
1. Plan visits in advance:
Instead of waiting for fate to bring you together again, it is more reasonable to plan frequent visits with your partner. This keeps the anticipation growing. It makes you look forward to the special moments you would spend with your sweetie. My boyfriend and I used to visit each other every three months and it worked like magic for us.
2. Find things to do together:
Even though you’re apart, you can both find things to do together at the same time. Sounds crazy right? You could watch a movie or a TV show at the same time and discuss the details on phone during or after the activity. Others activities you could do together include playing games at the same time, reading a novel within the same duration etc. Find what works for you and keep doing it.
3. Talk to your partner frequently:
I cannot overemphasize the need for communication in order to keep a long distance relationship alive. Whether you’re together or apart, talking to your love frequently, creates a special bond between the both of you. The more you talk, the more you learn new things about your partner and the more you bond with each other.
4. Send him gifts occasionally:
If you want to keep a long distance relationship alive, make sure you mark your partner’s birthday on a calendar to avoid forgetting the special event. During special occasions like birthdays, Valentine’s Day or even Christmas, make a serious effort to send a present across to your sweetheart. I’m sure it would be appreciated no matter how small. Little gifts mean a lot too.
5. Write letters to him:
Letters have slowly become a thing of the past in some societies because of all the gadgets we now possess. But, I know of a few people who still use letters as a means of communication. Letters leave an everlasting impression on the heart. It reminds you of how caring and thoughtful your partner is.
6. Try regular video chats:
For the gadget owners who are either too busy or too lazy to write letters or even text messages, video chat is your holy grail. When you have a video chat with your sweetie, you see his/her face across the screen and it makes you feel that he or she is presently with you. It keeps the love alive and gives you hope to continue dreaming.
7. Try sexting each other:
Sexting increases the intimacy that has been lost via distance in a relationship. When you send your lover intimate text messages, it leaves him or her yearning for you. It also increases your anticipation to see each other again.
8. Be realistic:
Don’t put too much pressure on yourself or your sweetie because you want the relationship to work. Sometimes, a little breathing space is all we need. Giving each other a little space from time to time, could actually bring you closer.
After trying so hard to keep a long distance relationship alive and it doesn’t seem to work, maybe it’s time to let go and focus on yourself. It could simply mean that you placed too much expectations on your partner and neglected your own deficiencies. Just be yourself at all times. The heart always knows what it wants.
I strongly recommend this thoughtful Long Distance Relationship Survival Guide that will help bring you and your sweetie closer despite the miles apart. I currently use this guide to keep the spark alive in my relationship whenever my boyfriend travels out-of-town. It is so helpful!
These are but a few ways you can keep a long distance relationship alive while in a long distance relationship. I’ve personally made use of almost everything on the list and it has helped my current relationship a lot.
How do you keep the spark in a long distance relationship alive?